Unorthodox
Growing up queer amongst tradition
"I went to church religiously with my Grandma, in hopes that God and religion would treat me"
Emma grew up in a traditional Macedonian home where culture and religion was at the forefront of her life. Emma knew she was different, she knew she didn’t fit in with what her family and friends expected.
“I didn’t fit in, I knew that but when you're living in a world where all you want is to feel acceptance, it's hard to get that when you’re not like everyone else."
She also felt like growing she contemplated and strategically planned every decision she made to fit into societal expectations and pressures,
“It’s saying things that make you “more straight” “more normal”, it’s pushing those parts that most define you into the deepest, darkest places so you know that no one will ever find them.”
This was Emma's life and she grew accustomed to it day by day and from a very young age she knew she didn’t look like the girls around her. The stereotypes and pressures were real for her growing up, she tried to do everything and anything to change it.
“I went to church religiously with my Grandma, in hopes that God and religion would treat me."
Emma explained she got to an age where she became more self aware, she realised that religion and culture couldn’t “fix” her, although with that self awareness came flaws and insecurities she didn’t know existed. Her biggest insecurity was knowing she liked women and knowing she couldn’t change it even if she tried.
“The realisation sent me into a panic frenzy of ideas that could “un-gay” me but deep down I knew who I was I just didn’t know how to accept it."
In the end with time Emma realised that hiding who she really was would only cause more hardship for her, she realised that in the end she is living for herself and not for anyone else.
She understands the struggles and pain for many others trying to find acceptance within themselves, especially when they live in such a strict cultured family.
Emma couldn’t pretend anymore, not just to others but herself. It came to the point where it was either to be unhappy and live a life of lies or to be unapologetically herself.
This is her story.
Emma. She/Her.
Jordan. She/Her
Did you grow up in a household that doesn’t talk about Queerness? because well you didn't have to. That was the case for Jordan as she explains what it was like growing up in a somewhat normal household where being gay was never a discussion or topic.
Until Jordan was at the end of her highschool education, where questioning her sexuality and identity was at the forefront of her thoughts. Jordan tells me the struggles she has with gender identity and norms that society pushes onto people.
Jordan reflects on what it’s like going to family events and not being able to wear her favourite suit, but instead having to wear a dress in order to make everyone else comfortable.
“I still revert back when I'm around the family because I don’t think they are ready to see the full extent of my personality. Just because of the more traditional views.”
She explains to me that her family comes from a more traditional and old-school view. That was considered the “normal” for their generation and anything LGBTQIA+ was either never spoken about or was spoken about in a negative way.
“People like that were seen as outcasts or weird or something like that which is why I feel like it is just passed down from great grandparents to grandparents to parents.”
Jordan also states that she feels like she can’t express herself enough around her family but is open to the opportunity that one day it will become the new “normal”.
Society is becoming more open-minded towards queer individuals and living out of home and with other roommates who are also LGBTQIA+ friendly, has helped with her freedom of expression.
This is her story.
Jordan. He/him
"Being a man who likes other men is very hard when your'e in a very strict ethnic family."
Jordan grew up in a very strict ethnic family. His beliefs, traditions and values that his family uphold clash with his own freedom of expression and identity.
Jordan explains how he feels angry at himself for not being able to be the person everyone wants him to be. How everyone puts these labels on people and define them by their sexuality when they're much more than that.
Jordan has tried to come out to his family numerous times but somehow it is never the right time. He hopes that one day his families traditional views are put to the side so that they can see their son for who he really is and accept him.
"The idea of the day I finally tell my family will be the proudest fucking moment of my life".